Is This Church Camp, a Doors Concert, or a Nightmare?

(Jim Morrison, The Doors, Zen, Christianity, and Waking Up!) 

Part I. May 1, 2004- Time To Wake Up!

“Eternity is in love with the productions of time.”  William Blake

“Dip him in the river who loves water.” William Blake

“Wake up!!!!!” Jim Morrison 

“You know the day destroys the night 

Night divides the day 

Tried to run 

Tried to hide 

Break on through to the other side 

Break on through to the other side 

Break on through to the other side, yeah...” 

(The Doors- “Break On Through To The Other Side”)

“...And we're on our way 

No we can't turn back 

Yeah, we're on our way 

And we can't turn back 

'Cause it's too late 

Too late, too late 

Too late, too late...”

(The Doors- “I Looked At You”)

On May 1, 2004, I endured sweat that seemed to come from every pore in my body, heat that felt like the Sahara heated by global warming, and the smell of what seemed like two million people scented with kudzu, to see The Doors perform live at Atlanta’s Midtown Music Festival.   Okay, it was “The Doors Of The 21st Century,” but I thought Jim Morrison stand-in, Ian Astbury, did an excellent job of channeling Jim’s Ghost   

Wow!  Is this church camp, a Doors concert, or a nightmare?   

Right before the band came out, they played a loop of statements from U.S. leaders that seemed to echo through the collective conscious of the audience.  The loop began with a tape of Jim Morrison saying, “Is everybody in?” Each time a portion of a speech played, the voice of Jim Morrison, screamed “Wake Up!” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. began by  saying, “I have a dream today!”  Wake Up!  Next, President George HW Bush said, “We begin bombing in five minutes.”  Wake Up!  President John F. Kennedy said, “Ask not what you do can do for your country!”  Wake Up!  The loop continued until it ended with President George W. Bush saying- “We found no weapons of mass destruction.” Wake Up!       

The band was now playing the opening notes of “Break On Through To The Other Side.”   As Astbury belted out the lyrics, I felt a unity with the crowd that I knew I had felt a few other times in my life.  It felt almost like the crowd and me were part of the same body. I thought to myself- “Where did I have this feeling before?  I know, screaming my lungs out at football games.  Well the feeling was a bit like that, but the feeling was much stronger.  Okay, then maybe another concert?  Yes!  U2 in 1983!  Anything else?  Yes- When I grew up, the closing services at church camp often felt like this.  That’s it!  I feel like, the take your pick- Ground Of Being, Ultimate Reality, Creator of the Universe, or God is trying to connect with me.”  By now, the band was playing “I Looked At You,” and as Ian sang the lyrics “We’re on our way, no we can’t turn back,” I began to believe that my reality was about to change.

Wow!  Is this church camp, a Doors concert, or a nightmare? 

When the band was a few bars further into “I Looked At You,” I had a new feeling.  This emotion did not feel like a football game, a U2 concert, or a church camp.  It felt like a nightmare!  Seemingly from nowhere, a feeling came over me that I was wasting my life.  I felt for a moment as though I wasn’t even alive.  As I looked around, I had a Walt Kowalski in Grand Torino moment- “I may have more in common with the people here than I do with my own family.” (Walt Kowalski was played by Clint Eastwood. If you haven’t seen it, please consider watching the film! :) )  Fortunately, my feeling of discomfort quickly passed, and the feeling of unity returned for the remainder of the concert.  Unfortunately, when I returned home the nightmares began again. 

Sleeping Nightmares

Within a few days of coming home from attending “church camp” with The Doors, I began to have a series of nightmares.  The details of these dreams are now vague, but the recurring motif of the dreams is not.  In each nightmare, I felt like there was an unseen force holding me down to the bed.  I could not move.  All the dreams ended with me screaming at the top of my lungs, and waking up in bed scared as hell, or with my wife waking me up because I was screaming in my sleep, and it was scaring the hell out of her!  

Nothing Else Works, So Why Not Try A Bit Of Jungian Analysis?

I knew that the Doors considered themselves a “Jungian” band.  “Okay, maybe a Jungian analyst can make sense of these bizarre nightmares and bring back the feeling of bliss and unity I had at the concert.”  So- I contacted a Jungian analyst in another city, mailed a written copy of  my dreams off, and made my appointment.  After a few more weeks of nightmares, my appointment arrived, and I was sitting in front of the analyst and her dog.  (I think she believed I needed support from a “therapy dog,” and looking back on it, I believe she was right.) Going on very little other than the copy of my dreams I mailed, and a brief thirty-minute conversation, my therapist said, “You are wasting your life... you are not even alive!”  I was a bit shaken by this, but she continued by asking me whether I knew the purpose of a nightmare.  I promptly answered, by spewing forth some intellectual schtick I remembered from a college textbook.  “No, that’s not correct!”  Okay-  Spiel number two straight from a book I read about Jung. “No, you’re still not right!”  Answer three... “No! No! No!  “You’re trying to be all smart, but you don’t really know what the purpose of a nightmare is, so I will tell you!  The purpose of a nightmare is to WAKE YOU UP!”  Wow!...   That was the message at the beginning of the Doors concert. 

Tuesday:

Is This Church Camp, a Doors Concert, or a Nightmare? 

(Jim Morrison, The Doors, Zen, Christianity, and Waking Up!) 

Part II. Exploring The Doors Literary Canon