(With a bit of wisdom from my favorite Navy Seal philosopher- Max Machowicz.)
Part I. It’s Only A Thunderstorm. It’s Not A Hurricane.
“Down. Fall by the wayside no getting out.
Down. Cry me a river dried up and dammed.
The names can be changed but the place is still the same.
I am loaded. Told that all's for naught. Holds me down.
Rise. Life is in motion. I'm stuck in line.
Rise. You can't be neutral on a moving train.
One day the symptoms fade. Think I'll throw these pills away.
And if hope could grow from dirt like me. It can be done.
Won't let the light escape from me.
Won't let the darkness swallow me.”
So long. (Pearl Jam- “Down” )
“Still alive, can’t quit.” Max Machowicz
“Always remember that you are trying to master yourself, not find a master for you.” Max Machowicz
Once upon a time, I went to a Crohn’s and Colitis support group. (If you don’t know what Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis are, you may want to go to the bottom of the post and read- “I Don’t Know What Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis (UC) are,” and then come back and continue reading.) It was one group, in one city, on one day, and I am sure most of the groups are not like this... At this group though, no one was finding a way to be positive, the glass was not half-full, it was not half-empty, it was less than half-empty, and everyone was whining. No one was talking about anything that he or she had found helpful in keeping Crohn's or Colitis in remission. I began to feel depressed. Why in the hell did God or whatever allow me to have Ulcerative Colitis? Why in the hell would God or whatever give someone Crohn’s Disease or any other medical condition?
Wow! I don’t have cancer... That’s great!
When I started having colitis symptoms, I thought I had cancer. So, I was initially very relieved to “only have ulcerative colitis.” Unfortunately, my initial joy in “only having colitis” did not last, and I began to feel bitter and depressed. Going to this “support group” 100% filled with non-positive people, threw jet fuel on my sullen mood.
For me, that was yesterday, and this is today- On my better days now, I believe that I live in the presence of a rain shower, not a hurricane. Just as a thunderstorm can cause damage, at times living with UC has been painful and inconvenient. Still, I don’t believe that rain showers and thunderstorms are as deadly as hurricanes, and I don’t think that living with the inconveniences of Ulcerative Colitis compares with living with a disease that is fatal. I am blessed to have health insurance, in a country, the U.S.A., where 46 million people do not have health insurance. My insurance pays for many of my medical expenses, and my wife and I are blessed with enough income that I can afford a very healthy diet that helps keep my illness in remission. I live in a neighborhood where I don’t worry about experiencing a drive by shooting when I walk down the sidewalk. I don’t worry about my wife’s safety when she needs to come home after dark. On my healthy emotional days, I realize that the people in the pictures immediately below this paragraph have genuine problems. I do not have genuine problems; I have “inconveniences.” If you go to a support group, any support group, where there is not one positive person, please consider doing this- DON’T RUN AWAY...SPRINT AWAY!!!
GENUINE PROBLEMS PRESENTED VISUALLY
I DON’T KNOW WHAT CROHN’S DISEASE AND ULCERATIVE COLITIS ARE. (IF YOU LIVE WITH CROHN’S OR UC, YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP THIS SECTION.) HERE’S A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THESE ILLNESSES FROM THE CROHN’S AND COLITIS FOUNDATION OF AMERICA (CCFA)
“Ulcerative colitis is a chronic (ongoing) disease of the colon, or large intestine. The disease is marked by inflammation and ulceration of the colon mucosa, or innermost lining. Tiny open sores, or ulcers, form on the surface of the lining, where they bleed and produce pus and mucus. Because the inflammation makes the colon empty frequently, symptoms typically include diarrhea (sometimes bloody) and often crampy abdominal pain.
The inflammation usually begins in the rectum and lower colon, but it may also involve the entire colon. When ulcerative colitis affects only the lowest part of the colon -- the rectum -- it is called ulcerative proctitis. If the disease affects only the left side of the colon, it is called limited or distal colitis. If it involves the entire colon, it is termed pancolitis.
Ulcerative colitis differs from another inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), Crohn's disease. Crohn's can affect any area of the gastrointestinal (GI) tract, including the small intestine and colon. Ulcerative colitis, on the other hand, affects only the colon. The inflammation involves the entire rectum and extends up the colon in a continuous manner. There are no areas of normal intestine between the areas of diseased intestine. In contrast, such so-called "skip" areas may occur in Crohn's disease. Ulcerative colitis affects only the innermost lining of the colon, whereas Crohn's disease can affect the entire thickness of the bowel wall.
Both illnesses do have one strong feature in common. They are marked by an abnormal response by the body's immune system. The immune system is composed of various cells and proteins. Normally, these protect the body from infection. In people with IBD, however, the immune system reacts inappropriately. Mistaking food, bacteria, and other materials in the intestine for foreign or invading substances, it launches an attack. In the process, the body sends white blood cells into the lining of the intestines, where they produce chronic inflammation. These cells then generate harmful products that ultimately lead to ulcerations and bowel injury. When this happens, the patient experiences the symptoms of IBD.
Neither ulcerative colitis nor Crohn's disease should be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a disorder that affects the motility (muscle contractions) of the colon. Sometimes called "spastic colon" or "nervous colitis," IBS is not characterized by intestinal inflammation. It is, therefore, a much less serious disease than ulcerative colitis. IBS bears no direct relationship to either ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease.”
I hope that this post is useful to everyone who reads it. Please leave your comments below, or contact me directly. (My contact info is in the sidebar.)
Thanks for stopping by! Bill
Tomorrow:
Part II. So, This is Only a Thunderstorm, Not a Hurricane- Now, What Do I Do? With Inspiration From Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready
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