“For these cultures, getting rid of the pain without addressing the deeper cause would be like shutting off a fire alarm while the fire's still going.” David Foster Wallace
“I'm just writing songs about how I feel or about how people I know feel.” Elliot Smith
Near the end of March, I like to slow down whatever my “real business” is and go into the “basketball business.” This years “basketball business” coincided with my reading writer David Foster Wallace’s essays “Federer as Religious Experience” and “Consider The Lobster.” While the North Alabama spring rain falls outside, I’ve been watching the collegiate hoops athletes celebrating their victories like kids winning their first YMCA tourney, with my TV’s sound muted, so that I can listen to Elliot Smith’s rainy day music, and read David Foster Wallace’s essays. The more I listen and read, the more I wish that Smith and Wallace were still with us. New Elliot Smith music for the cloudy spring days and new words from Wallace to help us see that even sport can be transcendent. If David Foster Wallace’s writing made tennis sound like a religious experience, what could his writing have made the NCAA basketball tourneys sound like?
WHY DID ELLIOT SMITH AND DAVID FOSTER WALLACE LEAVE US?
While watching the mental toughness of the hoops warriors, I wondered why Elliot Smith and David Foster Wallace chose not only chose to leave the game, but chose to leave the entire arena... Why would anyone kill themselves?
In the last few decades, some police departments have applied a social theory called the Broken Windows Theory to police work. A very brief statement of this theory is this: If a window in a building is left unrepaired, all the rest of the windows in the building will soon be broken. This is as true in yuppified neighborhoods as it is in run down areas. What does this have to do with suicide? Just as the Broken Window can apply to any neighborhood, suicide can effect any individual regardless, of age, sex, race, creed, or income.
My opinion, is that somewhere during the life of someone who commits suicide, that person experiences a “Broken Window” that is never repaired. For example, maybe someone goes through a painful divorce, and never gets over it. He or she begins to drink just a little more than normal to cope. The few drinks lead to a few more drinks, until one day he or she wakes up with an addiction problem. A few years later, the addiction leads to the termination of a great job. With no means of income, our hypothetical individual, begins to feel trapped, and things continue to escalate from there.
After several weeks of thinking about this, I now realize that while it may be intellectually stimulating for me to ponder why one commits suicide, the obvious is- That I do not know and cannot know why David Foster Wallace, Elliot Smith, or anyone else commits suicide. Hell, I went through several years of depression where I had some suicidal thoughts. (I wrote a bit about this in an earlier post, “What Millions Of Us Have In Common With Kurt Cobain.”) Since I can’t totally explain my depression, how can I hope to explain some else’s depression or suicide? I am certain of this though- If I experience a “broken window” in my life, I need to repair it immediately.
Some Good Questions To Ask About Suicide
1. Do I have any “broken windows” in my life that I need to repair?
2. What are the risk factors of suicide?
3. How can we prevent suicide?
4. How should we react to suicidal thoughts in ourselves or in loved ones?
"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I am permitted to hold for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
--George Bernard Shaw
PRIMARY RISK FACTORS FOR SUICIDE
1. Depression (Treatable) 50% of people who die by suicide suffer from major depression. .
2. Drug or alcohol addiction. (Treatable) Combining this with depression, is a very volatile mix.
3. Previous Suicide Attempt.
*According to the National Institute Of Mental Health, suicide was the 11th leading cause of death in 2004.*
PREVENTION (ENTIRE SECTION BELOW, IS FROM SUICIDE.ORG DIRECTOR KEVIN CARUSO.)
“My name is Kevin Caruso, and I have been working with suicidal people for over 30 years; and I have been firmly dedicated to suicide prevention, awareness, and support, so please let me share my experience with you. The first thing that I want you to know is that virtually every person that I have worked with who attempted suicide, and survived, was glad that they lived. So the emotions that were causing the suicidal feelings did pass. Things got better; the sun did come out. So, let me extend that hope to you.
If you are in intense emotional and/or physical pain, remember that your judgment is being clouded by that pain. If you are considering suicide, you are trying to end that pain. Please do not confuse ending your pain with ending your life. The two are very different.
Let me also tell you that if you are suicidal, you probably are suffering from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, PTSD, or something similar. And if you have something along these lines, you actually have a chemical imbalance in your brain -- and you cannot possibly think straight because of it. That is beyond your control. You are not weak. You just need some treatment. This imbalance can occur for several reasons, from genetics to a traumatic life experience, and it is extremely common for people to have this imbalance, so do not feel like you are alone. You are not.”
WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE SAYS “I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.” (PLEASE GO HERE FOR DETAILED INFORMATION.)
1. Take it seriously.
2. Be willing to listen.
3. Seek professional help.
SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES
American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide
American Association of Suicidology
CDC- Suicide Prevention Strategies and Links
“As someone who deals with depression and anxiety on a daily basis, Elliott's music is therapy for me... Elliott has the ability to write lyrics that resonate with those of us who have felt things we have never been able to find quite the right words for.” Garrick Duckler
“The best of our generation is not a phrase to be flung about willy-nilly, but with regards to David Foster Wallace it feels earned. Our current fascination with Twittering and whatnot may have antiquated his predilection for infinity, but Wallace's ability to parse the minutiae of modern life continues to be what the Total Noise of our world so desperately needs. Now, in his absence, we must teach ourselves not just how to write, or to think, but to see.” Whitney Pastorek
I hope that this post is useful to everyone who reads it. Please leave your comments below, or contact me directly. (My contact info is in the sidebar.)
Thanks for stopping by! Bill
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